A Florida man expressed utter confusion after being arrested for stealing marijuana, insisting, “We were parked!”—as if stationary crime doesn’t count. The incident adds another chapter to Florida’s rich tapestry of logic-defying felonies, where the laws of motion apparently apply to theft now.
Kids across three U.S. states are being told to avoid the outdoors—no recess, no backyard adventures, just indoor boredom. Childhood memories now come with screen glare and filtered air in this climate change plot twist.
The UK’s finest have swapped truncheons for trowels, running cannabis farms that would make any stoner jealous. Britain’s police cultivating cannabis isn’t an April Fools’ prank—just another day in the British justice system.
One NYU student got an unexpected wake-up call—courtesy of their roommate’s bladder. The administration’s response? Less action, more head-scratching, as dorm life at America’s quirkiest university gets even weird.
In an unprecedented bureaucratic plot twist, Social Security vanished thousands of retirees after a DOGE-named agency wielded too much delete power. Turns out, being 'digitally dead' doesn’t help you collect benefits—or set up a game night.
Texas politicians want to evict furries from school grounds, leaving mascots nervously checking their fur suits. The furry subculture crackdown raises eyebrows and hackles in the Lone Star State’s education system.
Science meets Olympic-level awkwardness as the world’s first official sperm race crowns a champion. Genetics, fertility clinics, and way too much competitive energy collide in humanity’s weirdest new sport, now streaming for curious onlookers worldwide.
One moment you're channeling your inner gymnast, the next you're seeing nothing but darkness. A British woman’s cartwheel marathon turns into an unexpected, vision-blurring Olympic event.
Peter Hudson was discovered mid-romance with his sex doll on the front porch, confessing to both neighbors and the court—all in one moment. British justice meets inflatable companionship in a scene so surreal, even Love Island’s casting directors would think twice.
Humanoid robots lined up for the world’s first robot half-marathon, promptly proving they’re better at slapstick than sprinting. Beijing’s robo-runners wowed crowds with accidental acrobatics and slow-motion drama, not exactly threatening human athletic supremacy this year.
Scientists just found a caterpillar that literally cocoons itself in the corpses of its vanquished prey. Move over, Silence of the Lambs—nature’s got a new fashion-forward villain crawling through the undergrowth.
Hollywood’s elite can no longer vote blind—Oscar voters must now endure all nominated films before picking a winner. Grab the popcorn and those overdue homework vibes.
A vintage Camaro found at an Arizona auction turned out to have a 40-year-old theft history—talk about a long-lost car comeback story.
The UK’s finest have swapped truncheons for trowels, running cannabis farms that would make any stoner jealous. Britain’s police cultivating cannabis isn’t an April Fools’ prank—just another day in the British justice system.
