Children advised against going outside in 3 states isn’t your typical weather report—it’s peak 2025 weirdness. With warnings sweeping three entire states, outdoor play is benched and indoor activities reign. S’mores over FaceTime, anyone?
The UK’s finest have swapped truncheons for trowels, running cannabis farms that would make any stoner jealous. Britain’s police cultivating cannabis isn’t an April Fools’ prank—just another day in the British justice system.
One NYU student got an unexpected wake-up call—courtesy of their roommate’s bladder. The administration’s response? Less action, more head-scratching, as dorm life at America’s quirkiest university gets even weird.
In an unprecedented bureaucratic plot twist, Social Security vanished thousands of retirees after a DOGE-named agency wielded too much delete power. Turns out, being 'digitally dead' doesn’t help you collect benefits—or set up a game night.
Texas politicians want to evict furries from school grounds, leaving mascots nervously checking their fur suits. The furry subculture crackdown raises eyebrows and hackles in the Lone Star State’s education system.
Houston’s emergency hotline got a bit too real when a 911 operator channeled meme culture and hung up—mid-crisis. Somewhere, Sweet Brown is nodding in solidarity.
Blink-182’s bassist swears his pop-punk wisdom guided US forces to Saddam. Somewhere, a Pentagon playlist just got a lot weirder—and history teachers everywhere are nervously shredding their lesson plans.
Science meets Olympic-level awkwardness as the world’s first official sperm race crowns a champion. Genetics, fertility clinics, and way too much competitive energy collide in humanity’s weirdest new sport, now streaming for curious onlookers worldwide.
One moment you're channeling your inner gymnast, the next you're seeing nothing but darkness. A British woman’s cartwheel marathon turns into an unexpected, vision-blurring Olympic event.
Peter Hudson was discovered mid-romance with his sex doll on the front porch, confessing to both neighbors and the court—all in one moment. British justice meets inflatable companionship in a scene so surreal, even Love Island’s casting directors would think twice.
Humanoid robots lined up for the world’s first robot half-marathon, promptly proving they’re better at slapstick than sprinting. Beijing’s robo-runners wowed crowds with accidental acrobatics and slow-motion drama, not exactly threatening human athletic supremacy this year.
A ransomware gang now wants either Elon-style productivity memos or an easy trillion dollars. Corporate cybercrime has officially entered Silicon Valley fever dream territory, and the SEO keywords are almost as bonkers as the ransom note.
Florida Governor tweets death warrant signing like a casual update—just another day in the Sunshine State's unique approach to politics.
Sarah Palin claims a New York Times editorial left her feeling spiritually deflated—because nothing says modern politics like losing your oomph in open court.
