RFK Jr. has decided to treat germ theory—the foundation of modern medicine—as nothing more than a suggestion, stunning scientists and doctors worldwide. His public rejection of germs as the culprits behind disease rockets his campaign into the realm of science fiction and viral confusion.
RFK Jr. insists fluoride isn’t just for teeth—it’s apparently a recipe for nationwide idiocy. The presidential hopeful wants a fluoride-free America where intelligence, not tap water, reigns supreme. Buckle up for dental debates and dumber soundbites.
Peter Navarro’s take on a shrinking US economy is the hot economic spin no one wanted. Forget Wall Street’s panic—apparently recession is the new American Dream, if you ask former White House staffers.
Why settle for bottle service when Don Jr will sell you Team Trump on tap? The latest D.C. hotspot offers exclusivity with a side of political networking—provided your wallet’s as big as your ambition.
Move over, Dan Brown—Marjorie Taylor Greene’s got Vatican conspiracies no fiction writer could dream up. The Georgia congresswoman claims Catholic bishops have their spiritual Wi-Fi set to “Satanic control.”
Who needs elected officials when you have an empty chair ready to listen? Florida constituents staged an entire town hall, grilling furniture with the kind of stubborn optimism that only democracy—or improv—can supply.
Grindcore legends Pig Destroyer just dropped a bombshell—by entering the butt plug business. Heavy riffs meet heavy... accessories, leaving metalheads everywhere scrambling to update their merch collections (and perhaps, their bedside drawers).
Rats are raising the bar for sommeliers everywhere, proving they can distinguish Riesling from Sauvignon Blanc—by scent alone. Somewhere, a French waiter is nervously polishing a glass, reconsidering job security and keyword optimization for "rats wine tasting."
A website lets you unleash virtual monkeys to type random text, banking on the Infinite Monkey Theorem. Shakespeare fans and chaos aficionados alike, prepare for Hamlet—eventually—by way of relentless, algorithmic nonsense.
Ensign Barbie cross-examines Counselor Troi in a Voyager mess hall courtroom, while a Conehead serves on the jury. Star Trek fans, justice just went boldly where no Elle Woods has gone before.
Delaware County met the Delco Pooper: a driver who took road rage to a digestive extreme. Viral video shows her relieving herself on a stranger’s car hood, leaving locals baffled and traffic reporters speechless.
Archaeologists shocked by the unearthing of a massive circular tomb in Peru, containing battle-scarred remains—proving history is full of surprises, and perhaps, horror.
In a dramatic legal turn, a federal judge has issued a contempt charge against the 'Dump' administration, leaving many in shock.
Move over, Tamagotchi—now you can bond with a lump of iron filings. Ferro Pet combines pet rock energy with digital-age obsession for a magnetic companion that's equal parts adorable, bizarre, and SEO catnip for virtual pet lovers everywhere.
Climate activists target dogs in new eco push—seems even man's best friend has a carbon pawprint now.
A Michigan man’s paranoia hits peak levels when police try to return his forgotten $5,000, but he’s convinced it’s just another phone scam. Turns out, sometimes lost cash really is just lost cash.