Don Jr's new MAGA club is shaking up Washington nightlife, with $500,000 membership fees buying direct access to Trump insiders. Don’t expect velvet ropes—expect velvet paywalls, political intrigue, and a dash of capitalist absurdity in every cocktail.
Peter Navarro’s take on a shrinking US economy is the hot economic spin no one wanted. Forget Wall Street’s panic—apparently recession is the new American Dream, if you ask former White House staffers.
Move over, Dan Brown—Marjorie Taylor Greene’s got Vatican conspiracies no fiction writer could dream up. The Georgia congresswoman claims Catholic bishops have their spiritual Wi-Fi set to “Satanic control.”
Who needs elected officials when you have an empty chair ready to listen? Florida constituents staged an entire town hall, grilling furniture with the kind of stubborn optimism that only democracy—or improv—can supply.
The Pentagon just got a glam squad. Move over, military briefings—there’s a new battle for flawless foundation under the fluorescent lights. Apparently, national security now includes HD-ready complexions.
Sarah Palin claims a New York Times editorial left her feeling spiritually deflated—because nothing says modern politics like losing your oomph in open court.
Shanghai shoppers can now liquefy their gold trinkets at an ATM and watch their savings melt away—literally. This futuristic gold-melting cash machine redefines “liquid assets” and makes old VCRs look like untapped treasure chests.
A fired Disney worker hacked food menus to slip in profanities and chaos, earning himself a three-year vacation courtesy of federal prison. Turns out, the happiest place on Earth does not tolerate ‘Cheesy Shits’ with your fries.
Residents of Trang, Thailand, think Nutcha’s massive 3.8-foot dreadlock isn’t just a hair-raising sight—it’s literally haunted. Local folklore collides with flyaway follicles as “ghost hair” becomes the town’s supernatural centerpiece.
The UK’s latest nuclear project screeched to a halt after a brigade of radioactive rats decided to make it their new home. Britain’s nuclear ambitions just got upstaged by rodent squatters with a glow-in-the-dark twist.
Dubai drinkers now pay $100 for Greenlandic ice cubes in their cocktails, proving luxury knows no bounds—or logic. Greenland's new export: ancient iceberg cubes straight to your glass, climate guilt included free of charge.
A llama drama report in Westchester County turned out to be about an alpaca on the loose. Who knew alpacas could cause such a stir?
Salford brawl leaves lone officer outnumbered by teens—youth rebellion now available in bulk for maximum chaos.
An adventurous YouTuber finds himself in hot water after attempting to befriend the notoriously hostile Sentinelese by leaving them Diet Coke. Spoiler: they're not impressed.
Step aside, human immigrants—the US now pleads with Mexico to hold back a wriggling invasion of screwworm parasites. Border security gets a squirmy upgrade as diplomacy meets entomology.
