A Florida man expressed utter confusion after being arrested for stealing marijuana, insisting, “We were parked!”—as if stationary crime doesn’t count. The incident adds another chapter to Florida’s rich tapestry of logic-defying felonies, where the laws of motion apparently apply to theft now.

Drawing from this Florida Man Confused Over Stolen Marijuana tale, it’s clear that in Florida, stationary cars aren’t legal force fields—especially where stolen marijuana is concerned. Parked or not, you can’t burglarize weed, even if your logic is, well, uniquely “Florida Man.”