A man in Sudbury learned the hard—and deeply unsanitary—way that smearing feces on someone counts as assault. The courtroom lesson? Bodily waste isn’t a form of protest, it’s a fast track to handcuffs. It’s a legal ruling that’s gross, graphic, and now officially on the books.
The UK’s finest have swapped truncheons for trowels, running cannabis farms that would make any stoner jealous. Britain’s police cultivating cannabis isn’t an April Fools’ prank—just another day in the British justice system.
One NYU student got an unexpected wake-up call—courtesy of their roommate’s bladder. The administration’s response? Less action, more head-scratching, as dorm life at America’s quirkiest university gets even weird.
In an unprecedented bureaucratic plot twist, Social Security vanished thousands of retirees after a DOGE-named agency wielded too much delete power. Turns out, being 'digitally dead' doesn’t help you collect benefits—or set up a game night.
Texas politicians want to evict furries from school grounds, leaving mascots nervously checking their fur suits. The furry subculture crackdown raises eyebrows and hackles in the Lone Star State’s education system.
Houston’s emergency hotline got a bit too real when a 911 operator channeled meme culture and hung up—mid-crisis. Somewhere, Sweet Brown is nodding in solidarity.
Science meets Olympic-level awkwardness as the world’s first official sperm race crowns a champion. Genetics, fertility clinics, and way too much competitive energy collide in humanity’s weirdest new sport, now streaming for curious onlookers worldwide.
One moment you're channeling your inner gymnast, the next you're seeing nothing but darkness. A British woman’s cartwheel marathon turns into an unexpected, vision-blurring Olympic event.
Peter Hudson was discovered mid-romance with his sex doll on the front porch, confessing to both neighbors and the court—all in one moment. British justice meets inflatable companionship in a scene so surreal, even Love Island’s casting directors would think twice.
Humanoid robots lined up for the world’s first robot half-marathon, promptly proving they’re better at slapstick than sprinting. Beijing’s robo-runners wowed crowds with accidental acrobatics and slow-motion drama, not exactly threatening human athletic supremacy this year.
Scientists just found a caterpillar that literally cocoons itself in the corpses of its vanquished prey. Move over, Silence of the Lambs—nature’s got a new fashion-forward villain crawling through the undergrowth.
A four-foot-long caiman was discovered as an unusual guard for drugs in a UK home—proof that alligators come in handy for more than just swampy security.
Boris Johnson pecked by ostrich in Texas—diplomacy meets poultry in the most British-American crossover no one asked for.
Saying “please” and “thanks” to AI like ChatGPT is costing companies millions, as polite phrasing inflates prompt size—because even digital assistants seem to expect good manners.
Michigan town moves 9,100 books by hand—proving cardio, community spirit, and mild insanity can all fit into one oddly wholesome workout.
In a plot twist for global diplomacy, Soviet officials once cited dishpan hands—thanks to American ads—as cause for international restrictions. Diplomacy’s never looked so soapy or sudsy in the annals of weird news.