In a plot twist worthy of late-night comedy, Texas has declared war on toothpaste as part of its escalating anti-fluoride crusade. The Lone Star State’s lawmakers are brushing up on dental drama, taking aim at your morning routine and threatening to make pearly whites a political battleground.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton isn’t just targeting toothpaste brands—he’s invoking a controversial National Toxicology Program study and accusing Colgate and Crest of “dangerous” kid-friendly flavors. The toothpaste controversy now rivals viral Texas politics for sheer spectacle.