A man in Sudbury learned the hard—and deeply unsanitary—way that smearing feces on someone counts as assault. The courtroom lesson? Bodily waste isn’t a form of protest, it’s a fast track to handcuffs. It’s a legal ruling that’s gross, graphic, and now officially on the books.

In a bizarre twist, the Sudbury man's courtroom antics didn't end with the feces fiasco. During sentencing, he attempted to argue that his actions were a form of "performance art," aiming to challenge societal norms. The judge, unimpressed, dismissed the claim, emphasizing that assault laws aren't open to interpretive dance.