Thanks to a DOGE-driven digital mishap, living Social Security recipients found themselves erased from the government’s rolls, sparking a chorus of “I’m not dead yet!” from bewildered seniors. Bureaucratic blunders and meme-coin acronyms collide in this surreal tale.

Even after DOGE’s digital misfire left Social Security recipients scrambling to prove their existence, the saga forced the Social Security Administration to rethink both its tech safeguards and its vetting of absurdly named software vendors. Lesson learned: never trust DOGE with delete.