Federal Judge Unleashes 2025 Bill Chaos, Blocks $400M Planned Parenthood Cut

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Image & Source: nottheonion

Federal judge in 2025, wielding a literal 400-page bill, blocks the planned $400M cut to Planned Parenthood—top searches include “Will Planned Parenthood close in 2025?” and “How do federal judges block laws?” In this Washington D.C. courtroom, legal precedent pirouettes while lobbyists clutch inflatable gavels.

Echoing the bill’s 400-page chaos and a judge’s acrobatics, this measure’s block triggers a flurry of “Why can’t Congress defund Planned Parenthood?” and “What is the scope of judicial review?” queries—imagine lawmakers chasing rogue dollar bills through marble hallways as a bemused bailiff referees the melee.

During the hearing, one intern tallied exactly 37 separate legal metaphors before lunch, while a single Planned Parenthood infographic inexplicably featured a tap-dancing stork beside a frozen appropriations pie chart.

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