Brevard man discovered with 75 stolen pool floats in Palm Bay told police he “sexually gratifies himself with the pool floats.” For seven months, only floats vanished from homes as screens were cut, according to the arrest affidavit.

Palm Bay officers arrested 35-year-old Christopher Monnin after finding him with a garbage bag of deflated floats, later uncovering his stash in a vacant home. The keyword 'pool float theft Florida' now has a new icon, and neighbors are left clutching their noodles tightly.

Police say Monnin’s pool float spree lasted seven months, with only inflatables targeted and 75 recovered from a single vacant house.