In a stunt that redefines "love hurts," a Florida man allegedly shot himself to win over a coworker—because nothing says romance like self-inflicted gunfire. Police say the plan was to look heroic, but he mostly just looked hospitalized. Cupid’s arrow, meet reckless firearm discharge.
The UK’s finest have swapped truncheons for trowels, running cannabis farms that would make any stoner jealous. Britain’s police cultivating cannabis isn’t an April Fools’ prank—just another day in the British justice system.
One NYU student got an unexpected wake-up call—courtesy of their roommate’s bladder. The administration’s response? Less action, more head-scratching, as dorm life at America’s quirkiest university gets even weird.
In an unprecedented bureaucratic plot twist, Social Security vanished thousands of retirees after a DOGE-named agency wielded too much delete power. Turns out, being 'digitally dead' doesn’t help you collect benefits—or set up a game night.
Texas politicians want to evict furries from school grounds, leaving mascots nervously checking their fur suits. The furry subculture crackdown raises eyebrows and hackles in the Lone Star State’s education system.
Houston’s emergency hotline got a bit too real when a 911 operator channeled meme culture and hung up—mid-crisis. Somewhere, Sweet Brown is nodding in solidarity.
Science meets Olympic-level awkwardness as the world’s first official sperm race crowns a champion. Genetics, fertility clinics, and way too much competitive energy collide in humanity’s weirdest new sport, now streaming for curious onlookers worldwide.
One moment you're channeling your inner gymnast, the next you're seeing nothing but darkness. A British woman’s cartwheel marathon turns into an unexpected, vision-blurring Olympic event.
Peter Hudson was discovered mid-romance with his sex doll on the front porch, confessing to both neighbors and the court—all in one moment. British justice meets inflatable companionship in a scene so surreal, even Love Island’s casting directors would think twice.
Humanoid robots lined up for the world’s first robot half-marathon, promptly proving they’re better at slapstick than sprinting. Beijing’s robo-runners wowed crowds with accidental acrobatics and slow-motion drama, not exactly threatening human athletic supremacy this year.
Scientists just found a caterpillar that literally cocoons itself in the corpses of its vanquished prey. Move over, Silence of the Lambs—nature’s got a new fashion-forward villain crawling through the undergrowth.
Man fined for hugging German Chancellor—turns out spontaneous affection now requires legal counsel and possibly a permit.
Americans decorate potatoes for Easter as egg prices soar—turns out the Easter Bunny now accepts root vegetables.
Florida man arrested after snot rocket sparks domestic dispute—bodily functions officially join the list of criminal offenses.
In a shocking twist, a pregnant woman discovers her husband fathered some of her siblings—family gatherings are about to get a lot more complicated. Yikes!
Marvel the parrot's bacon-fueled rescue drama has neighbors questioning bird school curriculum. Forget cats in trees—now it’s clueless parrots stymied by basic gravity.