Alaska Floats 1,200-Mile Bear Alcatraz for Migrants, Iceberg Guards Included

Alaska Bear Alcatraz proposal lands this week: officials suggest confining 1,200 migrants on a solitary island, guarded by actual bears and floating icebergs. Trending queries like “What is Bear Alcatraz?” and “Where are migrants detained in Alaska?” surge as lawmakers debate whether a bear-patrolled fortress trumps traditional border security. The plan’s most surreal twist: “We’re not saying the bears are employees,” quipped one official.
Beyond bear patrols and iceberg borders, the Bear Alcatraz blueprint includes motion-sensing salmon and 24-hour aurora surveillance. Interest spikes for “What happens if you meet a bear in Alaska?” and “Has anyone escaped Alcatraz?” The proposal’s dry punchline: even the local bears were unavailable for comment, reportedly busy updating their LinkedIn profiles to ‘Correctional Officer, Island Division’.
Alaska’s Bear Alcatraz design claims a 99.7% escape deterrence rate—statistically tougher than classic Alcatraz, but with triple the wildlife per square mile.